Let’s talk the relationship we have with our sibling(s)!
I have a brother who is three years younger than me – who frankly looks like he’s 30… but that’s not the point. I don’t know the relationship you have with your sibling(s) or what the circumstances are, but I know where the relationship with my brother stands and I felt a heavy tug on my heart to share my perspective in hopes it may resonate with someone or encourage them. To start off, despite the age gap between my brother and I, we are total opposites – physically and personality wise.
He passes for being 30 –> I still get carded when I buy a drink
He’s outgoing & extroverted –> I’m reserved & introverted
He’s super smart & logical –> I live out “C’s get degrees”
He’s a night owl –> I’m a morning person
He is more relaxed –> I’m a ‘clean freak’ + over thinker
He’s tall –> I’m short
Despite our differences, we also have SOME things in common, believe it or not. We both love food (mostly just eating it), traveling, and most of all… are stubborn (a.k.a we both believe we are right when we have opposing opinions on certain topics). To this day, at the age of 24 and 21 we are still close and talk just about every day. How did we get to this place? I’m not exactly sure.. as there have been many times our ‘relationship’ has stumbled. Like that time as kids, I repeat.. as KIDS, I almost pushed him down the stairs out of anger (yeah, I know there’s others who can relate.. don’t act like you haven’t wanted to do that to your sibling at some point :P) or the time I just about “broke up” being his sister and never wanted to speak with him again because we had different opinions on a certain situation and I was beyond frustrated.. & most of all, my ego was in the way. Like, who breaks up with their sibling? I’m not even sure if that’s a thing, but there have been a couple times I’ve almost done it. I may not agree with every decision he makes or every opinion he has about something, but he’s my brother… and while some people chose not to have a close relationship with their sibling out of whatever reason, I chose to do the exact opposite – and here’s how:
#1 – I had to put my ego aside. Whenever we have conversations that result in us having different opinions, I’ve chosen to bite my tongue many times, keep quiet, take a deep breath, and let him be right… or in my perspective: let him “think” that he’s right 😛 I don’t say this lightly… I KNOW putting my ego aside is one of the main reasons we are still so close and talk just about every day. Yeah, we still have arguments here and there… but I made a CHOICE + DECISION to put the relationship I have with my brother before my own ego. I know for a fact that if I would have let my ego get in the way, I would still have harsh feelings towards my brother for things he’s said or done in the past that don’t even matter anymore or I would have immaturely not talked to him out of frustration.
#2 – we treat each other like friends. We talk on the regular… and none of it is forced. Sure, a lot of it is small talk – but we stay connected this way. We ask each other how we’re doing, what we’re up to, and really just the most random things (90% of our conversations have no meaning but we are still staying connected by reaching out on the daily). We don’t get upset if one of us doesn’t reply within a certain amount of time, and we plan intentional time to spend together rather than just waiting for family gatherings.
I’ll admit, when it came to me graduating high school + moving out, losing our dad, my brother having his first girlfriend, or him studying abroad for 4 months… I was nervous each time that we’d grow apart or contact would slow down. But it never has… and I can’t help but think it’s because of the two reasons above that I mentioned. I’m writing this post out of gratitude and reflection ❤ If you find yourself resonating with any part of what I shared today.. I encourage you to have an open mind.